Another Bane of Mine

Well, for a long time now, and I wont say how long, I have suffered from Clinical Depression. During this time, I have been on medication to help me control it, as well as undertaking therapy to manage it better and be less dependent on the medication. When it flares up, it can be quite crippling in a number of ways, including my writing.

Over the last few weeks, I haven't really been able to put pen to paper, so to speak. Not even the stuff I do for fun and relaxation. It was all a monumental ordeal too difficult to deal with. Nothing I tried, or could think of was able to allow me to even get out a sentence that would survive a complete rewrite. I will admit, that it has been the deepest, darkest hole I have ever been in, and it scared me a great deal.

Strangely enough, it was a writing related topic that served as a trigger that eventually caused the turn around. I'm not exactly sure how, but seeing an image a friend of mine wanted to write a story based off got me thinking. Somewhere in that thinking, something that I had locked up inside of me finally broke free and escaped. One massive emotional breakdown later, followed by a day spent mostly asleep from exhaustion and I found myself to be a someone resembling a human being again.

I managed to get a few pieces of writing done on a website I take part on, as well as laying some ground work for some short stories in a world where I am hopefully, one day, going to have a manuscript set in. These stories will help me further define the world, and some of the supportive characters, as well as refine my skills a little more for the main manuscript.

Not only to I have to battle not being able to look at things in the right manner to see inspiration that is hiding there waiting to be found, I also have the ever present Depression hiding in the shadows, lurking, waiting for the moment to spring forth and wreak havoc on me. On top of that, I have to ignore it so I don't get paranoid about it, and loose time and energy to it when it's not doing anything to me at all.

Now that I think about it, there just might be an idea in there after all...